Dear Jordan,
When you were six months old, I told your dad that I wanted you to stay that age forever. It's not that I didn't enjoy your newborn years, it's just that when you were that age, you really started to interact and I really felt like I knew what I was doing! Well, every stage since then, I've said the same thing. Each age and stage is so much fun. Today I told your dad that I want you to stay the age you are now forever. You are so funny and sweet and independent. You talk alot more and can play by yourself. But you also say "mama" all of the time and give hugs when asked. It is so much fun to be your Mom!
That doesn't mean that our days are always easy. You are working on your last molars right now and it's made it hard for you to sleep and sometimes you are a little crankier than usually. I have to admit that sometimes I wish these days away. Sometimes I am so ready for you to be able to communicate with me better. Sometimes I am ready for you to listen to me better. And sometimes you whine. But, the issue is not with you, it's with my heart.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the Newtown shooting. You can google it when you read this, but on December 14th, 2012, a young man went into an elementary school and shot and killed six adults and twenty first graders. I remember seeing a vague comment about it on Facebook, but when I turned on the news, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. And the moment they announced that twenty six and seven year olds had died, I cried. I hugged you and tried not to imagine what those Mommy's and Daddy's were feeling at that moment. Yesterday, I was reflecting on that tragedy and on those parents. I realized that those parents would give anything to wake up in the middle of the night with a teething toddler. They would give anything to have a kid throw a tantrum because he wanted more milk. Those parents would love to have their babies back. Thinking of them reminded me of how blessed I am. I am so sorry for taking you for granted. For not being patient with you. For wishing that you would grow up. Sometimes, I need God to remind me that it is not honoring to Him that I complain. Instead, I need to be focused on what He has given me and being thankful.
So, with that in mind, I have been cherishing you. Last night, I thanked God for the snuggles and the laughs. You are an amazing blessing from God that I don't deserve and I am thankful that He is gracious and good to correct me when I forget that.
Little Man, I pray that some day you will understand what it means to be in a relationship with God. You are already a boy who loves to pray. You even bow your head and close your eyes and when I snuggle you at night before bed and pray for you, you seem to understand and appreciate it. I don't know how much you understand now, but I pray that you will become a follower of Jesus as soon as you hear and understand the Good News. I can't wait to see you grow in your faith in Him.
I love you,
Mom
When you were six months old, I told your dad that I wanted you to stay that age forever. It's not that I didn't enjoy your newborn years, it's just that when you were that age, you really started to interact and I really felt like I knew what I was doing! Well, every stage since then, I've said the same thing. Each age and stage is so much fun. Today I told your dad that I want you to stay the age you are now forever. You are so funny and sweet and independent. You talk alot more and can play by yourself. But you also say "mama" all of the time and give hugs when asked. It is so much fun to be your Mom!
That doesn't mean that our days are always easy. You are working on your last molars right now and it's made it hard for you to sleep and sometimes you are a little crankier than usually. I have to admit that sometimes I wish these days away. Sometimes I am so ready for you to be able to communicate with me better. Sometimes I am ready for you to listen to me better. And sometimes you whine. But, the issue is not with you, it's with my heart.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the Newtown shooting. You can google it when you read this, but on December 14th, 2012, a young man went into an elementary school and shot and killed six adults and twenty first graders. I remember seeing a vague comment about it on Facebook, but when I turned on the news, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. And the moment they announced that twenty six and seven year olds had died, I cried. I hugged you and tried not to imagine what those Mommy's and Daddy's were feeling at that moment. Yesterday, I was reflecting on that tragedy and on those parents. I realized that those parents would give anything to wake up in the middle of the night with a teething toddler. They would give anything to have a kid throw a tantrum because he wanted more milk. Those parents would love to have their babies back. Thinking of them reminded me of how blessed I am. I am so sorry for taking you for granted. For not being patient with you. For wishing that you would grow up. Sometimes, I need God to remind me that it is not honoring to Him that I complain. Instead, I need to be focused on what He has given me and being thankful.
So, with that in mind, I have been cherishing you. Last night, I thanked God for the snuggles and the laughs. You are an amazing blessing from God that I don't deserve and I am thankful that He is gracious and good to correct me when I forget that.
Little Man, I pray that some day you will understand what it means to be in a relationship with God. You are already a boy who loves to pray. You even bow your head and close your eyes and when I snuggle you at night before bed and pray for you, you seem to understand and appreciate it. I don't know how much you understand now, but I pray that you will become a follower of Jesus as soon as you hear and understand the Good News. I can't wait to see you grow in your faith in Him.
I love you,
Mom
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