Made It!

Dear Jordan,

We all survived back surgery.  I feel so great today, other than the anxiety of re-injuring myself.  I've been able to enjoy the little things like playing with you and snuggling your brother.  I'm so thankful the surgery worked and is behind us.  Now I'm trying to balance being wise about not pushing myself too hard with the need I have to get stronger so my back is stronger.  Every single pain I feel, it makes me worry about if I've hurt my back again, but yesterday I had a conversation with God.  I told him that I would do my best at being wise and trying to take care of myself, but I probably will do stupid things too.  I need him to take care of me and I trust that he is always in control of my health, no matter what.

You seem to be maturing at very rapid rates.  You have conversations with me (often funny ones!).  You help me do things around the house.  And you show concern for me and sometimes even your baby brother!

Yesterday at dinner, you asked for things over and over again.  "Mom, I need a fork." "Mom, I need a drink".  Etc, etc, etc.  I was up and down and by the time I finished my food you and Dad were already through dessert and cleaning up.  I said, "Jordan, when Mommy gets old, are you going to take care of me or are you going to make Marcus do it?"  You said, "Jordan take care of Mommy."  I was flattered and said "Thanks, buddy!" and then you said "Mommy to the hospital."  I laughed so hard.  Apparently, you have no problem with institutionalizing me!  Oh well.  I hope I'm in heaven before I get to that point!

Even though you have made great strides in your ability to play by your self, you still are a little wild.  For example, I just finished picking up the whole house this morning.  Every toy was picked up.  Literally, while I've written this post, you've taken every single toy out of the bins in your room.  Sigh.  It feels like you wait until I pick up to do the most damage.  Someday, you will have kids to it to you and I'll just giggle a little inside!

Well, little man.  You are a joy.  We're coming up on your three year birthday and I'm so excited to celebrate the little boy that you are.

I love you,

Mom

 

Sorry, Mama

Dear Jordan,

It has been a tough week but YOU are a champ.  You have learned how to go potty (most of the time!) and are wearing big boy underwear (most of the time!).  This on top of me being in a chair for almost a week and many people in and out of the house to help us.  My back surgery is on Wednesday and we are all so ready.  I'm sure you're a little confused as to why Mama is always sitting and not taking you places anymore.  Believe me, if I could, I would!  This back pain is terrible.  The other night I was change Marcus' diaper and I almost threw up.  It's constant and severe, but hopefully soon I will be back on my feet and ready to chase you again.

I know it's hard when there are so many people telling you what to do.  Ultimately, Mom and Dad are the authority but we've delegated to so many that you get confused and act out.  You did that a little in Sunday School today, but thankfully Daddy and Ms. Brenda understood and were able to help you calm down.

Speaking of Daddy, he's the best.  He has taken care of me so well.  He loves me and shows me by all of the things he has done.  And on top of taking care of all of us, he has worked a lot too.  He's probably ready for me to be back to normal too!

What is "normal" anyways?  The point of our lives isn't to have everything just the way we want it.  What we are supposed to do is do the best with what God has given us.  God has given me back pain and yet I am supposed to glorify Him with these days that sometimes feel like are wasted in that recliner.  But I can still love on you and pray from you when I can't take you to the park.

Hopefully next time I write you, I'll be able to sit without pain.  But for now, God knows it hurts and is helping me.  Your sweet attitude helps too...like the other morning when I was sitting by the toilet because my medicine was making me sick.  You kept rubbing my back and saying "Sorry, Mama".  I am so blessed to have you!

Love,

Mom

 

Potty Training

Dear Jordan,

Whew!  If we didn't realize you were stubborn before, we certainly are aware of it now!!  Boy howdy, you are something.  You are so smart, so we know it's not that.  It's all will-power.  This week is potty training week.  I was supposed to have surgery, but that fell through, so we decided to potty train you.  Your dad did, anyways.  And if there is anyone more stubborn than you, it's him!  I would have quit after one day, but we're on day 5 and we are oh, so close!  Just before nap time, we saw you recognize that you needed to go and you had almost decided to tell us before it was too late. 

On top of the stubborn is the perfect amount of sweetness.  A few days ago, I hurt my back more than it was already hurting.  That led to a few days of me laying around while your dad had to pick up my slack, which he has done extremely well!  The other day, I was struggling with frustration and discouragement.  You climbed up in my lap and said "Mama, are you sad?"  I said "Yes, buddy.  My back hurts."  Since then, you will come up to me and say "Mama does your back hurt?"  Then you love on me.  I can't get enough of your sweetness! 

You are also your brother's favorite.  Marcus loves to watch you play.  If you're in the room, he's watching. You haven't quite figured this out, but if you come over to him and say something in a funny voice, he just loves it!  You are the closest to getting him to laugh so far.  All you have to say is "Boo!"  I think once you figure that out, you'll have him giggling all of the time.

This afternoon you wanted to hold him.  Your dad put him in your lap and let you hold his bottle.  You thought that was great! 

It's a new year, little man.  It's a great time to take stock of life and see where you need to improve.  It's also a time to be thankful, and boy am I thankful for you.  You bring so much humor and life to our home.  God did a good work when he blessed us with you!!

I love you,

Mom